3 months post partum

So, my lovely little princess was 3 months old on Tuesday, she'll be 3 months and 1 week tomorrow.

She's absolutely amazing! She has the cutest smile, has learnt to suck her thumb and has even started sleeping through! 

I'm totally in awe of her awesomeness, she tries to communicate and grabs things now! I'm still breastfeeding! Exclusively at the moment, no formula feeds whatsoever and she's still gaining weight. 

We bought her a new car seat the other day, one that does rear facing for 4 years (I'll review it once I've had a little more experience with it. I literally have to keep this girl safe!!! She is my world now! 

Breastfeeding weeks 1-6

So... My breastfeeding journey so far.

My little girl latched straight away on the hospital.  That first night in hospital was hard. She kept struggling to latch, so I kept calling the midwives and the assistants for help. It was tough but I got some really good advice.

My main concerns were that I would smother her and that she wasn't latching right.

The told me to look above her ear. If her full jaw was moving up to that bit between her ear and eye she had a good latch and was sucking properly. If her cheeks were hollow she wasn't. She also told me not to hold her head with my hand, but to support her, this allows her to bob her head and move as she feeds... Which leads me to my next point.

And that babies can breathe through the boob. When she said this I was quite confused as was my partner. But the way babies noses are shaped actually presses the boob away to breathe. This is where not holding the head comes in handy. Baby can move to get comfortable and breathe.

When we got home things went quite well feed wise. I worried about my supply and whether she was getting enough.

At about day 4/5 I started to feel very claustrophobic,  she wanted to be on me all the time and I felt extremely overwhelmed, this coupled with poor sleep (which I'll address in a different post) made us wonder what our options were.  We decided on the advice of my midwife to introduce a formula feed at bedtime.

By the end of the first week she'd lost only 20g and she has put on almost a pound a week since then until this week.

After my mini meltdown, and I call it that because there where tears and doubts but now I'm in awe. By week 3 I found breastfeeding a lot easier. My sister in law described it as night of a thousand knives, and she wasn't wrong. Weeks 1-3 every time she latched it was excruciating,  but I have persevered. With lanolin I have made my way through the hard part and now when she feeds I just feel an overwhelming love for her. So strong I could cry at times.

I still need that break in an evening so daddy does nighttime formula feed and I get a little sleep to prepare me for the night ahead.

My little girl

So my beautiful daughter came into this world on Tuesday 23rd August 2016 at 3:31pm. She cried within a minute and fed almost straight away. My heart was hers immediately. 

I'll start with how it all happened in this blog and then try and update you with things I've done or tried to make my way through the first few weeks.

So in the weeks before my due date the Dr's had concerns about my baby's size, she was measuring small. They basically decided to induce me the day after my due date, so I was admitted to hospital and given the option of a chemical induction (medication) or balloon induction (they insert the balloon part of a catheter into your uterus and inflate it, causing contractions and dilation to start.

I thought the balloon induction sounded more natural so I went for that. I honestly didn't expect it to be as painful as it was. Within two hours I had to have it taken out as I couldn't stand the pain any longer. By that point my midwife said that I was ready to go up to labour ward and have my waters broken. It was 7:30pm and they'd take me when they were ready.

By 8:30pm it was made clear it wouldn't happen that night. My contractions had started and were getting more intense. I ended up having pain relief and a pethidine injection during the night.  My boyfriend hated seeing me in so much pain.

It was the following morning at about 9:30am wheb they finally took me up there. I was basically crying out for an epidural at that point, and they finally listened. I was met by the anaesthetist in the room on my arrival and by 11 I was laughing and joking away.

It was about 2:30 I first remember feeling a strong contraction. The epidural had been topped up once already, but the midwives were switching over, and because my waters had been broken they didn't want to examine me again.

My baby was being monitored constantly during my labour to make sure she wasn't distressed.  It was about 3pm we lost the trace on the heartbeat because I shifted position.  The midwife decided to place a clip on her head but quickly noticed her head was there and I was fully dilated.

It was all go from that point on. I'd been saying for almost half an hour I felt the need to push, and it wasn't until she told me I did. One push, that's all it took. My daughters birth was so fast that the second midwife didn't even get chance to wash her hands and catch the baby. She flew out onto the bed and cried almost immediately. 

It literally blows my mind everytime and think back to it. My labour was so horrible, the birth was amazing and now she is here and it's 6 weeks later. I'm pretty sure I'd do it again. Though it is likely that I won't have anymore children x

Possible Induction :(



Soooo. Monday saw the last of 5 or 6 growth scans. Basically because I'm a plus size mummy there was some new guidance which showed I may benefit from extra scabs throughout my pregnancy to measure my little princess to make sure she was growing properly.

For the first two scans she measured perfect, she hit all targets and was within the healthy ranges. However, on my "final" scan, on August 1st, there were some concerns about her Estimated Fetal Weight (EFW).

The sonographer takes three measurements to come up with the EFW. Head Circumference, Femur Length and Abdominal Circumference. So instead of weighing 6.5lbs at 37+1. My darling was estimated to weigh 5.5lbs. This prompted a review of my notes by a consultant,  who explained that my babies Head Circumference was measuring a few weeks smaller than it should , which was bringing the EFW down. But they weren't concerned as it was most likely a miscalculation as her head has been well and truly engaged for weeks.

I had two more scans arranged and I've now had them both. Her head, according to the sonographers measurements, still hasn't grown. She is however now measuring 6.5lbs, so has gained 1lb in two weeks. All of her measurements indicate that she is 39+1 (which she was on Monday) apart from her head which measures 36 weeks.

Now I'm not saying I disagree with these measurements,  but according to the precise numbers, her head actually shrunk by 0.5cm over the last two weeks,  while she gained over 1lb in weight. That doesn't sit right with me. But nonetheless, after a very lengthy 5 hour wait to have my notes reviewed, I finally saw a doctor.

They basically now feel that they need to consider inducing me if my daughter doesn't arrive of her own accord within the next few days. I am scheduled to see a consultant to discuss my options tomorrow morning and see how he thinks we should proceed.

So yeah. She's so comfy, I'm 3 days from my due date with no signs she's going to make an appearance anytime soon. I'm still suffering with anxiety and pelvic pain/sciatica and just finding the whole thought of induction quite daunting.

The reason I'm finding it daunting is that my entire pregnancy I've planned to only use gas and air to get through the pain. I'm told with induction, it can be significantly more painful and it increases the chances of requiring a c section, epidural etc as 1. It may fail resulting in the need for a surgical birth (c section)  2. Because the Labour is trigger by synthetic hormones. Your body doesn't combat them with its own hormones to fight the pain resulting in it hurting a hell of a lot more.

I just don't know what to do. For 9 months I've had a plan, and in the final week it looks like it's all going to pot. I see my consultant early tomorrow. Wish me luck xxx

Braxton Hicks

So I have 9 days left until my due date! 

I'm laid in bed at the moment contemplating moving, my bestie is coming to pick me up soon to take me to lunch. It feels like the last supper. My final meal as me and not as a mummy!

I've been getting pretty regular Braxton Hicks contractions for about a week now and last night they kept on most of the night.

I know they're braxton hicks because there is one major difference between normal contractions and practice ones. The practice ones don't hurt. They're just uncomfortable.

Regardless though I don't think my little beauty is going to keep us waiting much longer. Though I have to say, the waiting is getting harder to cope with. If it all started right now, this minute,  I'd just get on with it and I think I'd be okay. But as it stands I'm struggling with my anxiety. The more time she takes, the more chance I'm having to worry about things and freak out over nothing. I spoke at length with my BF about this last night and he feels the same. So it's nice to know it's not only me!

We had a worry last week. I went for what should have been my final growth scan, and the sonographer couldn't get a clear view of my babies head. When she finally got one, she said it was small and that it had brought her EFW (estimated fetal weight)  under the centile. So I ended up going for an extra doppler this week (which was fine) and I have another growth scan on Monday. Joy.

My pregnancy cravings have been junk junk and more junk this week. Basically I wanted Greggs Sausage Rolls, and KFC Gravy. The Greggs Sausage rolls really hit the spot. I indulged my KFC craving last night with a boneless box with a side of Gravy. I was so disappointed. It's almost like the Gravy recipe had changed. It just wasn't right.

Anyway. On that total let down I need to love you and leave you. I'm going to get ready for my matedate.

Cya
PV xx

The Bump

So... My bump is officially huge in shadow form!!!

I've had a really busy few days and it's really wiped me out. I keep meaning to get some decent photos of my baby stuff but I have not got the energy at the moment hopefully tomorrow I'll get more done and feel better sharing.

Besides, I'm not embarrassed to admit I've put the changing table on my travel cot together upside down,  I'm a complete liability!!!  But in my defence the instructions weren't great. Even though the cot is perfect, absolute bargain and well worth what I paid for it!

I've been feeling uncomfortable today, a bit like a stitch but it's not bothering me at the moment. My little princess is currently playing around in there. So cute. I'll miss feeling her move I think, even though it's getting really uncomfortable due to her lack of space. I think she might actually have hiccups right now!!!!

Anyway. Good night. Peace and love.

Vamp

Bubbles

So. Im laid in bed. Midwife told me today that my little lady is engaged and ready to go, so it could be any point now basically.

I had protein in my urine today so they've sent it off for screening and I have to go back next Tuesday to have it tested again. My blood pressure is on point though, but I do look a little swollen in the feet. 

Ive put together her little corner in our room. Complete with travel cot, nappy bin and drawers, oh and a little hanging net thing for clothes. I'll put pics up tomorrow.

It currently feels like my darling daughter is blowing bubbles very low down in my pelvis. It's the strangest feeling.

This heat is unbelievable



Oh my goodness.

This heatwave is absolutely unbelievable.  I am really struggling with it. I can't seem to get cool even with a fan circulating the air in my room.

24 degrees Celsius at 10am this morning.

Is anyone else struggling? The only way I am finding to cope is to drink plenty of water. Keep my curtains closed and eating a lot of ice pops.

No hot drinks. No caffeine at all (I honestly couldn't get out of my routine of having one cup in the morning - until now) and I'm just lounging.

I always struggle in heat but this is by far the worst I've ever been. Even in Cyprus last September I managed better. But there everything is Air Conditioned and white.

I daren't even go outside as I know being pregnant makes your skin more sensitive to UV light. I burn at the best of times. I am a full on Lobster Queen.

Anyway. That's my weather moan out of the way.

I'm going to lounge around uncomfortable a bit longer and later today I'm going to write a blog on my pregnancy experiences so far :)

Thanks for reading :)

PV

35 weeks eek

Oh God. It's getting closer.

I had my second growth scan on Tuesday and the Sonographer was amazing. They currently estimate that our beautiful daughter weighs around 4.4lbs and is within normal limits for her gestation. Our bedroom is finally decorated and we've moved in. The moses basket is ready, just a few more bits to get on with and we'll be ready for her.

I have even packed her hospital bag, though mine is taking a bit longer to put together.... I really need to finish that!

I am now officially off work. I've been seeing a physiotherapist for the last 2 months due to increased back/pelvic pain. Unfortunately as it's mainly sciatica that is being made worse by the increased pressure I'm my pelvis, there is nothing they can do at this point until our bundle of joy arrives. Crutches and pain relief are the only courses of action.

I have found it increasingly difficult in the third trimester.  I am tired all the time, I struggle with my mobility, and the constipation is terrible. No one ever warned me about that. I'm currently managing to go to the loo once every 4-5 days! Which is so uncomfortable. Not to mention the pressure from the baby. It literally feels like I've been kicked in the crotch. Hard!

My stretch marks have finally made an appearance... I'd hoped I'd got away with that. But alas no such luck. So at some point I'll trial some creams and things for you all. I had been using the Palmers Miracle Oil and Stretch Mark cream up until this point. But I have to admit I've been a bit lazy with it so it's my own fault.

I had some reduced movements a few weeks ago and went to the day unit to be checked over. I spent an hour or so on monitors and had an examination to be finally told all was fine. I think she was just being lazy that day. But it did worry me, I now find that laying on my side and drinking something cold/fizzy will get a response. Sometimes even an ice lolly or some ice cream...  It's the change in temperature that makes her move again.

I'll post more soon, as I'm going to have a lot of time on my hands until she arrives now.

I'm so tired!

Peace out :)

It's a new dawn, a new day, a new life....

So ladies and gents. After around 12months clean of blogging I caught the bug again. Though this time I am wiping the slate clean. This time it's not about weight-loss, business or mental health.

It's all about me. My life, the ups, the downs and the daily occurrences in all their glory.

I am almost thirty (how scary is that)!!!! And live with the fella and two dogs in Yorkshire, UK. I'm a gamer. A music fiend. Tattooed. Pierced. Opinionated. Kind. Generous. Obsessed with Box Sets. Metalhead. Rock Chick. Goth at heart. Daughter. Sister. Lover. Soon to be mother!!! So more about that below.

Over Christmas (literally on Christmas Day) I found out I was expecting my first baby, with my lovely boyfriend of 8 years. Fast forward to today. I am almost 27 weeks pregnant and expecting a little girl (who is currently rolling around and kicking me like crazy). She will be due at the end of August.

I found it quite difficult to start with. I have a long standing relationship with Anxiety and Depression, having been treated for an Eating Disorder amongst other things in the past. I lack self confidence, rational thoughts and mainly the ability to shake negative thoughts at the best of  times. But with my unborn childs best interests at heart I have stopped all medication which I have been stable on for many years. It's definitely taken time to adjust, and I have good days and bad days. But with the support of my family and friends I'm doing okay!!!

So yeah. This blog is gonna be warts and all. There will be ups and downs. Hair cuts, make up and no doubt glitter at some point too.

I look forward to sharing what I go through with you all!